QuikTips by Subject:The Think Space
The Think Space is a plan to help children take responsibility for their own behavioral choices while offering adults a safe and responsible way to remove themselves from the emotional loop of misbehavior. QuikTips Bundles
QuikTips is a series of short, practical articles that feature easy-to-use tools for low-stress child management. Bundled in small packets, and arranged by topic for easy reference. Main Menu
Everything you say to a child either builds him up or tears him down. |
What are QuikTips?QuikTips is a series of short, practical articles, written by Calvin and Carolyn Richert, that feature easy-to-use tools for low-stress child management. All techniques presented meet strict scientific and ethical guidelines and have been carefully "road-tested" for effectiveness in everyday use. Every method is thoroughly positive and, when used as intended, can help children develop skills of self-management, confidence, empathy and the many other positive character qualities needed in becoming well-adjusted, productive adults. Also available for purchase: QuikTips Bundles are pre-printed small packets, arranged by topic for easy reference. Adult Personal Management
Revisiting inward vs. outward focusAs you leave the kids with grandma, you offer one last reminder: “Now, be good,” you admonish them, then walk away hoping that they will remember your words. And tomorrow when you take them to play with the neighbor children, once again they will hear that familiar refrain, “Be good.” 
It’s used non-stop with children. It seems innocent enough. After all, part of your responsibility is to help your kids remember to use appropriate behavior. So, what could possibly be wrong with such an innocent reminder?
Harnessing the power of priority with children“It’s just amazing how improved my day has become since I’ve added more structure into our schedule.”
From a bright, young mother, we were again reminded of the huge difference order can make for a growing, active family. It wasn’t that her life had NO order. In this case, it was more about applying order to the next level in her home.
...including human biology!Sometimes people fear that more order in family life will create extra stress. Take Linda, for example: “I feared that following a plan would end up causing us to get less done during the day. But, to my surprise, we actually get more done…and with a lot less stress!”
We have seen such improvements in family life over and over when parents discipline themselves to follow a set plan for getting things done during the day.
...in a child’s world of play“Sully, you’ve left your toys all over the place. We have guests coming, so you need to pick up and put away before they get here.”
If you have young children or work with them on a regular basis, you have noticed that their play tends to be disorderly and random. In the end, they can create messes that are daunting even to the most resourceful adult!
...in a child’s virtual world“Cassie. You’ve been on that computer long enough. Shut it down and practice your piano lesson!” “Aw Mom,” she whines, “I just got started, and besides, Roby didn’t finish until a few minutes ago.”
Thus, a new round of media conflict is born and Mom, bless her heart, is at a loss to know what to do. It’s a stress that almost every modern family experiences, thanks to motion pictures and their offspring, TV and computer-based entertainment.
...featuring the family ‘sync’ session
It’s 6:30 AM. At breakfast are children, ages 3, 5, 7 & 9 in various stages of readiness for the day, with Mom and Dad eager to get the day started. Why a family meeting at this unlikely hour? Three things: food, inspiration & ‘syncing’ –essentials in the development of wholesome, productive children. It’s a formula we used nearly every day until our children left home.
Selective ignoring made visualWhen five-year-old Bernie complained that his little brother was bothering him, his mother reasoned, “Well, just ignore him.” But, Bernie’s comeback stumped Mom. “I CAN’T ignore Adam. He just keeps bothering me!”
Certainly, Bernie’s complaints are common, and handling them well is rare.
...meaning exactly what?“Tasha. Can you please help me put these toys away?”
Every time I hear a parent use that “can you please” phrase, I want to say, “Excuse me. What do you mean when you use those words?” Are you asking the child if they CAN do something, or are you asking them to actually DO something? |
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