QuikTips by Subject:The Think Space
The Think Space is a plan to help children take responsibility for their own behavioral choices while offering adults a safe and responsible way to remove themselves from the emotional loop of misbehavior. QuikTips Bundles
QuikTips is a series of short, practical articles that feature easy-to-use tools for low-stress child management. Bundled in small packets, and arranged by topic for easy reference. Main Menu
Everything you say to a child either builds him up or tears him down. |
What are QuikTips?QuikTips is a series of short, practical articles, written by Calvin and Carolyn Richert, that feature easy-to-use tools for low-stress child management. All techniques presented meet strict scientific and ethical guidelines and have been carefully "road-tested" for effectiveness in everyday use. Every method is thoroughly positive and, when used as intended, can help children develop skills of self-management, confidence, empathy and the many other positive character qualities needed in becoming well-adjusted, productive adults. Also available for purchase: QuikTips Bundles are pre-printed small packets, arranged by topic for easy reference. Adult Personal Management
"Jade honey. You have to wear your shoes when you go outside, okay?" "Uh huh," Jade mumbles half-heartedly and later sneaks outside...without shoes! 
Of course, you're disappointed, even disgusted. You have been through this drill a dozen times, saying the same thing every time. Why, oh why doesn't it sink in? Could it be that you are speaking AT Jade instead of speaking WITH her?
Argument Reduction
Although arguing is normal for most children at some point in their development, it can really try your patience. But take heart. Here are some tips that really work when you use them correctly.
Next, learn what TO do and what NOT to do to reduce arguments.
Argument Reduction
Last month we offered five ideas for managing a child who likes to argue. Here are four more.
"Every word you say to a child either builds him up or tears him down. There is no middle ground." - Carolyn Richert 
You ask, "How can that be true?" In a very real sense, nothing about life is neutral. Even our bodies are both growing and shrinking every second of every day. On the nutrition side, what you eat may seem meaningless, but the simple fact remains - nothing is neutral. Everything matters.
How to cut your verbal corrections in half...overnight!
Every child needs correction. It comes with the territory. But how much is enough -- too much -- too little? It's commonly known that 80% or more of teacher talk in many classrooms across the nation is focused at disciplinary and other corrective issues. As we ask parents and providers this question in our classes, answers range all the way from 60% to 100%! How about your situation? Whatever your answer, would you like to cut your corrective words in half and be more effective at the same time? A couple of examples:
"I have two families," the caller related in a sad voice. "I was real hard on the first ones and they turned out pretty well. After several years, we had a second group of kids. We weren't so hard on them and now they're an embarrassment to us! " 
"So, why are you calling us? " I queried, now interested in how we figured into this story. His answer was significant. "Because," he replied, "Our state gave us new rules without new tools. But you seem to have new tools for the new rules."
Baby talk revisitedThree-year-old Paige was explaining the colors on her shirt at Circle Time. But, when she mistakenly said "lello" for yellow, four-year-old Emily emphatically corrected her, "Not lello, say LELLO!" 
While this story is cute, it offers a strong lesson about training kids. How so? When we use Paige's incomplete language in talking with her, we unnecessarily complicate her development. What we fail to realize is, she is probably hearing us correctly and thinks she is speaking correctly; she just hasn't yet mastered our diction.
("But I AM...!")Sometimes five-year-old Gracie just amazes you with her maturity. But, on this day, she is whining about going to kindergarten. Exasperated, you blurt out, "Oh Gracie, act your age!" 
Now, let's see. Maybe that is exactly what she IS doing...acting like a five-year-old. But, just how IS a five-year-old supposed to act? Who set the standards for five-year-old behavior? Did anyone tell her? Stop for a moment and think what you are doing to your child when you say that to her: |
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